Regrets?

I am 90% convinced that my guardian angel is a hoeing somewhere out there. The amount of bad lucks and regrets I have been having are way too much. The 10%, I blame the year 2020 like a typical human.  I am not convinced “it is what it is”. Being the son of a man who was strict to the core, I ought to be so till now, but Jesus was also rebellious to the Pharisees rules.

I’m not saying I am holier than thou, but I couldn’t follow every rule like a hound. Few times were when I would come home late and chances of me being locked out were overboard. For any white person reading this, in an African homestead, its either you or the darkness that comes home early in the evening. If the darkness comes before you, well… I don’t think I have to explain what might happen to you. As a kid luck was never on my side to the point I got used to it. My memory serves me right, once when I came home early. Emphasis on early, but my clothes looked as if they were dipped in an ocean of mud and dirt. “ngukwoha haha thitimaini ngutige hau” (I will hang you under this bulb and leave you there) words from my mother’s mouth. To this day I still wonder, if the act took place, what would have killed me, the hanging or electricity? To everyone who feels like their parents punished them like two three times and the rest were attempted murder, I totally feel you.

Forward to my today years, I am a grown man. Bad luck and regrets still befriends me. And I don’t know why this toxic relationship of a threesome won’t let go. Let me give you an example.

I have been stalking this lady friend of mine for some time. I am a strong believer of love and having a loving family. Is it not for every man to have someone call him dad and be proud of him? Well, my stalking game is very low. I sometimes find myself liking her old pictures on instagram and on realizing it I unlike them. Yeah, I come that close to be known. The last time I saw her was some few months ago but this corona thing won’t allow meet ups. And are people still waiting on the president to speak on that curfew matter? I miss her and I did tell her a couple of times before.

Well of late I have been receiving the grey ticks. Apparently grey ticks are worse than blue ticks. With grey ticks I believe it shows the person has no interest in whatever shit you say to her but with blue ticks, well the person is somehow interested she just won’t reply. Well at the moment I feel like a clown for the few grey ticks I have received by now. Was I wrong to miss her?

It wouldn't hurt to share...