Love, Sex and Comedy

Have you ever been so wildly attracted to someone you can actually feel it driving you insane? Have you ever been scared to open a text? Your heart races, your stomach feels empty? Personally I couldn’t hide this anymore. I know by now what you are thinking. That one person who causes your heart to skip a beat just by seeing her. Don’t worry, I feel you. I have a friend who causes me to smile, glow, joy, crave, go blank, feel, tense, make my heart skip a beat, not once, but twice. I’m going through that currently. I still get butterflies even though I’ve seen her for a hundred times. She is the kind of friend I’m scared to lose. She is the secret I can’t hide. I feel deprived of oxygen when I spend days without hearing from her. You should see her. You know that smile you get when that one person you’ve been wanting to talk to finally texts you? It surely happens to me everytime I hear that text tone on my phone and find out it’s her. She causes me to go from crazy to crazier. I...

Here is to the lady who won’t settle for less, Prayerful, to ask God for a bless, One who won’t remain on the ground, Full of success with no bounds, She keeps her head high, But her standards higher, She is not sassy, but more of classy, A lady of great substance, Full of joy in abundance, Sorry ma’am, I am no wish thug, For now, let my words give the hug, Happy birthday miss, And have a sincere bliss, It wouldn't hurt to share...

This is not my writing to begin with. I shared it cause some of the problems he is facing I face them almost everyday. I guess we are many in this category. But all in all, this is all true. You can check the writers work by visiting the link  https://captionempire.wordpress.com/author/captionempire/  and you can view it all. No editing was done, pasted as copied. People won’t realize how tough it is to be skinny, when you need to fight unnecessary battles everyday, as soon as you feel a threat. It’s likely a skinny person will crash you with his mouth than his body, just like short guys. At times they are the loudest, the most bold (like Kelvin Hart in Central Intelligence), if you get into their thoughts you’ll realize they feel ‘heavy’ more than they weigh. You remember the 80’s and early 90’s (when people mostly guys would walk like they have leg disorders or they have one shorter leg than the other) ‘bouncing’. Yeah you might still find skinny people having tha...

First day i saw her, My vision went into blur, She was in a dress, And my words were less, A lady with  elegance, And with zero arrogance, She took the darkness away, and my night turned into day, You should see her smile, And the way she matches her style, A true definition of a lady, If she calls, I swear I'll be ready, I promise to be friendly even in ninety, Sitting in a hotel drinking some fine tea, Just sit, relax, look and see, I'll still be there Lucy, It wouldn't hurt to share...

She was sitted the row opposite me. I noticed her after the bride and groom passed next to her after exchanging their vows. A lady with a white dress decorated with red and blue flowers all over. She caught my eye. A lady with class, dressed like a model, a face which the sun caused the sparkle on it, a natural dark skin and a cleavage which could cause the groom to think twice, African beauty. She almost kicked the bride out of position one in beauty contest by a landslide on that day. The susceptibility of me liking her was higher than the Eiffel Tower. My freight was how to start a conversation. I don’t want to go to her and start stammering. I was gathering my courage and braveness. Me; Hae, my name is Bond, James Bond. Technically I didn’t say that because I was still sitted in my sit like a dog with its tail between its legs. But how cool would that sound if that was my name and I said it to her. I once tried saying my name that way. Trust me, if your name is long, that ...