Love, Sex and Comedy

I am 90% convinced that my guardian angel is a hoeing somewhere out there. The amount of bad lucks and regrets I have been having are way too much. The 10%, I blame the year 2020 like a typical human.  I am not convinced “it is what it is”. Being the son of a man who was strict to the core, I ought to be so till now, but Jesus was also rebellious to the Pharisees rules. I’m not saying I am holier than thou, but I couldn’t follow every rule like a hound. Few times were when I would come home late and chances of me being locked out were overboard. For any white person reading this, in an African homestead, its either you or the darkness that comes home early in the evening. If the darkness comes before you, well… I don’t think I have to explain what might happen to you. As a kid luck was never on my side to the point I got used to it. My memory serves me right, once when I came home early. Emphasis on early, but my clothes looked as if they were dipped in an ocean of mud and dirt. “n...

J has been named weird, probably for being old school, i still love letters, probably why i still love reading good romance books, unlike the usual modern man, society has made a man as unbreakable, rigid to any problem, but if you cant understand me, for being emotional in a movie scene, i think you are the one wrong for me, i have a soft heart, probably why i dont leave people, they leave me, gaining the courage to leave someone, has to take alot of guts, i have not had the best luck in love, luck has only been on my said if its pain to my heart, probably why also my heart has been broken, so many times, yet i tend to pick every piece & mend it again, still throw myself out there again, hoping one day i will find the one, who will hug me tight enough, to stick its pieces together, i am chivalry, so not yet dead, i envy old traits, the likes of opening the door for you, pulling the chair on a date night, i was raised in giving my girl the best...

SHOTS!! SHOTS!! SHOTS!! The house screamed at me. For a person who hates attention, attention was getting fond of me. Up in and bang!! And like that, the seventh quarter glass was empty. These fucking Russians make strong drinks. I was winning at taking shots but losing at this poker game. “Babe, you should now stop this” warned my girl. “Why, I am… hic! I am not drunk” like a rich guy trying to convince his mates he is not rich I objected to Linah. Yes, I am now dating Linah. How did that happen? Well she is beautiful, that’s a fact, the first thing I noticed about her was her rack, and she is what uneducated Kenyan man from the suburbs of Mwiki and Ruiru would call “slay queen” just coz she is light skinned. What is wrong with the Kenyan boy child, lack of education & we bash out the educated, but I don’t think y’all are ready for that conversation. Okay, we are getting of topic now. I took more, I don’t know how many, shots before I passed out on the couch. Did I win a game...