This is so Embarrassing

Off late, my usual days are spent sleeping and eating. But still I don’t grow fat or even gain a reasonable weight. Maybe as some people say they have inner beauty, I might have inner thickness. Yeah, that’s it. Inner thickness it is. This much eating must pay off somewhere, right?
So the other day I decided to head out. Buy a movie and get back home. Staying indoors can be tiresome at times. It’s not always as fun as they say. So I locked the house and went on my way.
Kring kring…
Me; Hello, ni nani?
Caller; Its Jane, remember me?
Me; aah! Which Jane?
Caller; the wedding girl.
I’m not going to tell you how I knew Jane. That’s for another day. Just know we met in a wedding. The call went on for some time and we ended up agreeing we meet up in town. She was in her holidays. We met up and she offered me lunch (I needed to add more inner thickness. There was no way I would say no to that. Furthermore, she offered to pay. That chance never comes that often).
We caught on lost times. How she got a job in Coast and much more. After lunch I bought my movie. I offered to take her home since it wasn’t that far. Luckily the weather was cool for a walk. Within the hour we were at her house. What you don’t know is that my stomach by now rumbling too much. Could the food I ate have gone bad? All I wanted was to relieve myself. I ran to the loo and locked the door on my way in. I was really releasing gases in there, and the faces I made? I’m quite sure if the Kenya Police collected the gas and used it in their canisters on demonstrators, TGM would have ended on the first Monday.

After ten to twenty minutes, I was through. I was relieved. Only to flush the toilet and none of the floaters would sink in. I waited for the water to fill in and flush again. At least this time some floaters sank. But I wasn’t of the hook yet. The houseflies roamed around the window staring at me and rubbing their legs together (The way these flies rub their legs it’s as if they are always planning something evil. It’s as if they planned all this on me. All they lacked was the evil laugh). How do I get out of this one? And I’m sure Jane is curious what I’m doing here all that time. And if she finds out what i have done it will be very embarrassing.
My escape plan was already planned. All I needed was a distraction. Fake phone call was the only thing that came to my mind (We have all used this some time in our lives to escape others). As soon as she leaves the room, open the door, pick up my phone and start conversing on my own. “Hey Jane, something came up. I’ll be back later”. And like that I leave. But that opportunity never came. So I’m going to leave you all here, unless you have a good way out of this situation.



It wouldn’t hurt to share…

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