Would You Reply to my Text?

Last night I had a dream where I was on a date. I tend to have nightmares oftenly where I’m swallowed by giant, talking cockroaches and termites (I know I’m not the only ones with weird dreams. But seriously you should see the monsters in my dreams). But l just don’t know why last night’s dream was different. It’s been long since I’ve been on a date and I’d be lying if I said it was perfect. If I went for another date this is how I think it would happen.

Wake up around 8.30am from snoozing the alarm since 7.00am (I’m a heavy sleeper. My mum can testify to that). Sit on my bed for about 5 minutes before forcing myself to the washroom. Irrigate the toilet basin with my eyes closed. On my way out, a thought runs in my mind, “I should have taken a dump”. I get back strip my short and sit down. When I’m through, I head to the bathroom. Stand under the shower head on my birthday suit (Can you stop imagining what I think you are imagining. I said stop. Hahaha… Your thoughts must be corrupted if that’s what you think I look like butt naked).

Thirty minutes later, I’m dressing my white shirt, black khaki and brown, leather shoes. Can’t forget my black tie too (I want to stand out among everyone today and prove to her I’m a man not a boy). Peep through the window. The weather looks cool. My mum left a note on the fridge. “Don’t forget to take out the garbage” (I kinda forget it every day). Metres to the pit, my nose is invaded by a putrescent smell. So I decide to throw the garbage from where I stand.  Make a short prayer and hope it doesn’t rain on my out.

Before I get to the restaurant, I get her a rose, a bar of chocolate and silver necklace. Wrap the necklace and chocolate in a gift box and drop a small note with just a few rhythmic words to entice her and head for the restaurant (I prefer arriving some minutes before the due time to make sure everything is as planned.) Give Mike a small tip for preparing her favourite dish. (I always imagine the waiters name being Mike. Don’t ask why). Check on the table we get served on and make sure its next to the window. I don’t wanna suffocate trying to impress her. So I sit and wait for her.

It’s a few minutes past the due time and I’m already worried. My heartbeat is raging like a South American bull. Is she gonna stand me up? Did she get lost? Maybe a better dude than me is hitting on her? I decided to text her. “Hey beautiful? *double smiley emoji with love eyes* Where are you?” Just before I hit the send button, I hear familiar foot steps behind me. Only to turn and find her walking towards me with a gleaming smile. I see the Juliet in my Romeo. I can’t help but stare at her perfection made of slight imperfection mesmerized. Give her a warm hug. Pull the chair and she sits. Exchange a few words before calling Mike to take our orders (Mike already knows what we are gonna have but I don’t want to let her know that). She orders what I expected her to. Mike brings the meal a few minutes later (He is not to bring it immediately. You don’t want it to look so obvious). Talk about our goals and achievements as we have the meal. Hope she likes the meal.

After the meal, order some cocktails. It has to be cold. Pay the bill as we leave. By now she has no idea where we are headed to. I take her hand and we head out of the restaurant. She seems curious. I take her to the cinema. Buy a bowl of popcorns as we enter. The movie has to be interesting. Not overrated or underrated, just average. I keep checking on her whether she is enjoying the movie. Two hours and the movie is over. She seems happy. After the movie, pass by ColdStone, buy her some ice-cream then take her home. Drop her at her house and give her the rose and gift box hoping to get a peck.

It’s already dark and I’m back home. Mum is surprised why my dress code is different that day. But I can’t tell her where I was. I don’t want to start having relationship conversations with her at this age. To her, I’m still young but to my lady, I’m old enough to date. I drop myself on the couch like a sack of potatoes and text her.

If I took you for the date, would you reply to my text?

It wouldn’t hurt to share…