My Night Out

My classes were almost ending and all that was running in my mind was getting the heck out of there. So, normally my weekends were just the usual boring days. I had still not known the city well. I had no "form" as we call it. It was just wake up, take breakfast, update my movie list, stay in my bed all day till the dark crippled in. Just before the classes I received a call from John (my longtime friend).

"Euty niaje", screamed the caller from the other end of the call.

"Poa sana, siku mob. Kwani ulikufa na hukutuitia mazishi tukule wali?" (I never understand why people are obsessed with funeral rice, that is, me excluded LOL!!)

"Hahaha... ww ni panya ya grade sana, ni venye nlisanywa kale kamkebe kangu, sahi nko na contacts less sana", he said.

"Ooh! poa. Sema lakini", I curiously asked.

"Leo uko free twende to turn up?" he asked.

Finally, an opportunity is brought on a silver platter. This was one chance in a million (because I was really broke and I could use it to relieve my weekly stress). He was in town already and we agreed where to meet. At first, I was surprised to see John. He had this masculine body (do not get me wrong, I'm not gay, but truth be told). It’s as if all he did was go to the gym all day (the number of times I say I want to hit the gym as my new year's resolution, only God knows. I know I’m not the only one). He had this tight shirt on him and totally shaved head (I insist again, I'm not gay). The guy was different. Back in the days, he used to have a big hair.

Little did I know it was his birthday. No wonder he asked about getting turned up. I gave him the first priority to choose the club he wanted and we headed there. Only to arrive at the entrance and find two huge looking guys. I felt like an ant among mammoths. “25 and above only”, one said. John tried to plead with him but to no avail. He stared at me all through. It’s as if his mind was talking to me. “where bitch, where to? Go back home to your mama’s hands, cry baby” (sorry for my abusive language). At the end we had to give him KK (few people will understand this).

Loud music filled the whole building. Lasses and dudes filled the dance floor. From right to left, top to bottom shaked the Gluteus Maximus (I know some of you will such the meaning of this after reading it). I also felt like jumping in the dance floor and showing off my dancing styles. The only problem was there was no shower, cause that’s where I can move like jagger (if you know what I mean). We ordered our favourite drinks (as long as the bill is not on me). “How old are you?” the bartender asked me. But john backed me up and worked it out with him. We were later joined by some of John’s friends. The ratio of boys to girls was 8:9 (you can guess who the extra dude was). I felt like an outcast. Their dress code never matched mine. It’s as if they knew what was trending. The topics that came up were like scientific words to me. I knew none (when I say none I mean none, at all). I remained silent all through.

Later on we decided to move to another club. Most of us were very drunk. Screaming and shouting how John’s birthday turned up to be cool. Little did I know my phone was missing, and purses to the ladies were all opened up. Seem my day out never turned as I expected. “Kujeni hapa”, someone shouted in the darkness. Before I could turn and see who it was, everyone ran and I was left to the mercies of the police. I tried pleading with them to let me go but the only words that were common were, “Leo lazima ulale ndani kijana, hio please please yako utaambia mheshimiwa kortini kesho asubuhi” (in a kalenjin voice) If only it was a dream. All I wanted is to wake up with Amnesia the following day…

It wouldn’t hurt to share…